Still trying to get along down here in Tampa. Going out everyday is refreshing, albeit tiring and cutting into the personal time I always thought I had for the internet cause I have no social life. If this keeps up, I may actually have one. Scary. X_x

My uncle…is the only person I am honestly honored of having the privilege of being related to. I’ve always loved a sense of humor. Practically no one in my family has a sense of humor. He keeps me in stitches with all his little quips, though I guess I’m the only one encouraging him; everyone else tries to look unamused to keep is ego from blowing up. Since he’s awesome, and its pretty much the truth.

Kinda had an interesting last couple of days. Cleaned the house. I did the bathroom. It was the most amazing adventure into scrubbing all the dust and dirt and grime that has ever accumulated over a one-year span of use within a water closet EVER. I have successfully kept myself from retching. Also, somehow from one curious question, I managed to unravel a lot of my family history. No one would ever talk about the past to me, not even when I asked (they would say some things but never the whole story), and now I understand why. It wasn’t a very great beginning, for my aunt and my mom and all my uncles. But despite the circumstances that would have surely damned them into eternal torment, they managed to rise above it and survive into the comfortable lives we hold now. Sure, things aren’t perfect now, but they’re a long stretch from back then, and that was fine. Its always needled me, how I never knew much about my family. In a way I can understand myself a bit more and why I’ve always been treated differently, and, most time, conflictingly. Like…someone too incompetent and unimportant to know anything relevant, always kept in the dark, yet expected to take responsibility and know exactly what to do all the time without anyone’s help.

Aside from that, aunt also regaled on the stories of how my mom met my dad, and (by request) how she met my uncle. To spare you overlong details, both cases seemed to be a ‘love at first sight’ situation. Personally, I don’t believe in love at first site, but I guess it works in some cases. I mean, you don’t usually just decide to fly over several hundred miles of water just to marry a person you’ve never met. Or declare with all seriousness to a woman you’ve met for only one night that you both will definitely get married. It’s really quite sweet, since both men have been unwaveringly faithful and true to their declarations right up to now. Can only hope I’ll find someone that good someday. *sigh* [romance mode=ON]

Chicago on Sunday. Dunno how much my availability will be in the whole time we’re there, but I’ll try to manage. Right now, I’m just tired and upset and feeling more insecure than I ever did. With truth comes some harshness I’m still trying to accept, like people having a problem with me being half-black. I’ve already grown above giving a damn about what people think, but it still kind of hurts that I never knew it and had to put up with it.

~Taddle